It’s been quite some time since I whipped out a Cow Shit Corner Award. Thing is that not much has annoyed me in the past couple months, but nothing like the holiday season to bring out some grump. It was simply bound to happen.
The Cold Scallop
We had a Groupon about to expire (you know, the fine print ones where you can only use it certain days and you had to have reservations and so even though you tried to use it you just can’t). So there we were with this thing about to expire and had an almost free night. We only had one small problem–we had to take a kid with us, the kid that’s maybe not so food flexible, the one with the food allergies.
No problem, I thought.
So we drove to Portland, looking at the beautiful lights. We scored a great parking spot. We were on track for a great night. Then things changed. Turns out that there really wasn’t that much that he really liked (and I was too cheap to spend twenty eight dollars on his protein entree). He couldn’t have the pizza because of the allergies. After a big conversation, we decided to get the bacon and scallops BBQ style appetizer and french fries.
This is when the problem stared.
The scallops came perfectly seared, covered with a nice little BBQ glaze. Kid took a big bite and spit five dollars worth of scallop onto the plate.
“It’s cold!” He said.
“No,” I said. “Scallops are never cold inside.” So I took a bite. The inside of that mollusk was cold as ice.
WHO DOES THAT? TO A KID?
Thinking it to be a mistake, we pulled over the waitress to ask. I watched her eyes screw together as she said, “We cook our scallops medium rare.”
Okay lady, if that ice ball was medium rare than I’m twenty-two.
“Could you heat it up a bit?” I asked, gritting my teeth, cause suddenly I am that lady.
“Certainly,” she said, frosty as the inside of that scallop.
I saw the cook give me a dirty look from across the room and fire that scallop for just a nanosecond–turning sad scallop a toasty luke warm. Gee thanks.
So fancy Portland eating place that charges so much you need to use Groupon to get people through your door. You can take your ice cold scallop and stick it where…
I digress, congrats to you on your Cow Shit Corner Award.
You are in good company!