Cow Shit Corner Award: The Cold Scallop.

That's right, it says "Cow Shit Corner!"It’s been quite some time since I whipped out a Cow Shit Corner Award.  Thing is that not much has annoyed me in the past couple months, but nothing like the holiday season to bring out some grump.  It was simply bound to happen.

The Cold Scallop

We had a Groupon about to expire (you know, the fine print ones where you can only use it certain days and you had to have reservations and so even though you tried to use it you just can’t).  So there we were with this thing about to expire and had an almost free night.  We only had one small problem–we had to take a kid with us, the kid that’s maybe not so food flexible, the one with the food allergies.

No problem, I thought.

So we drove to Portland, looking at the beautiful lights.  We scored a great parking spot.  We were on track for a great night.  Then things changed.  Turns out that there really wasn’t that much that he really liked (and I was too cheap to spend twenty eight dollars on his protein entree).  He couldn’t have the pizza because of the allergies.  After a big conversation,  we decided to get the bacon and scallops BBQ style appetizer and french fries.

This is when the problem stared.

The scallops came perfectly seared, covered with a nice little BBQ glaze.  Kid took a big bite and spit five dollars worth of scallop onto the plate.

“It’s cold!” He said.

“No,” I said. “Scallops are never cold inside.”  So I took a bite.  The inside of that mollusk was cold as ice.


Thinking it to be a mistake, we pulled over the waitress to ask.  I watched her eyes screw together as she said, “We cook our scallops medium rare.”

Okay lady, if that ice ball was medium rare than I’m twenty-two.

“Could you heat it up a bit?” I asked, gritting my teeth, cause suddenly I am that lady.

“Certainly,” she said, frosty as the inside of that scallop.

I saw the cook give me a dirty look from across the room and fire that scallop for just a nanosecond–turning sad scallop a toasty luke warm.  Gee thanks.

So fancy Portland eating place that charges so much you need to use Groupon to get people through your door.  You can take your ice cold scallop and stick it where…

I digress, congrats to you on  your Cow Shit Corner Award.

You are in good company!

About julietruekingsley

Crazed writer living on the coast of Maine! Attempting to blog daily in fifteen minutes or less.
This entry was posted in Cow Poop Corner Award, Cow Shit Award, food, Maine and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Cow Shit Corner Award: The Cold Scallop.

  1. mattforrest says:

    Years ago, a relative of mine bit into what was supposed to be a scallop and found a BONE. When he brought this to the waiter’s attention, the guy replied, “Well, occasionally you will find a small bone in them.”


    Mollusks got bones???

  2. Tatiana says:

    Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an very long comment but after I
    clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr…
    well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say great blog!

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