Hello Cow Shit Corner Award! Honestly, it’s been a while since we’ve had a new nominee, but just like always the universe seems to dump one on my lap every couple of months or so. In the past, we’ve had a nasty book club band, a sweaty chewing tobacco incident, and more. How does this fit in the frame of other awardees? Just fine in my opinion, I’ll get on with it.
Last week, I put out an all call for an acquaintance of mine who is collecting sneakers to bring to Ethiopia for the orphanages. I realize that it was possibly a tad cheeky to ask people to just “Fling ‘em on the porch,” but the thing is that people did! I started finding sneakers here and there, tucked into the corners, and right by the front door.
Awesome, that is, until people started throwing other things on the porch, not of the sneaker variety.
I’m watching a little Halloween Wars on the Food network. Kinda of lame Saturday night, but it happens. We were just about ready to go to bed when I heard this explosion of sound coming from the very front porch that I used to collect the sneakers, for the orphanage, for the children, etc..
I’m not gonna lie–I thought the house had been shot!
I mean, Henny Penny, it sounded like the sky was falling. We raced to the front porch and I immediately knew that this was no sneaker donation.
We had been egged!
I forced my husband out the door to try to apprehend the eggers, while I frantically scrubbed and wiped the goo from the house.
I contacted my neighbors for an ambush via text. It went like this:
“Holy crap, I’ve been egged. P. prepare the girls for attack.”
My neighbor has all kind chickens out in the backyard, or as she likes to call it–the Ponderosa. Those girls know how to lay some eggs!
I get this text back:
“Seriously? Did U call the police (were any of them cute?), the girls are locked and loaded. I think we should at least throw eggs back-at the perps.”
So take that, Cow Shit Corner Awardee #9!!!!! We are waiting for you in the ‘hood. Your time will come. It’s simply not good karma to egg a porch that is looking for donations to an Ethiopian orphanage I’m seeing some food poisoning and possible car trouble in your future.
And beware, we are locked and loaded. Next time, I won’t be so slow to react.
Oh, BTW, contrats on the Cow Shit Corner Award. Once again, you are in very good company!